Lately I've found myself going through a stage of self pity. I've had this happen to me before...it's not a rare occurrence by any means. But this time is different. It feels almost like four years back. A feeling I thought I had put behind me...
For those of you that don't know, I went trough a two year stage of clinically diagnosed depression four years ago. It was the worst two years of my existence and it literally pained me to wake up in the morning. It mortified me to look in a mirror and suicidal thoughts dwindled through my mind on the simplest of whims. It almost killed me.
I now feel the same way. Not quite that strong but I'm getting feelings similar to the beginning of that two year darkness. I suppose this is where I start to explain why. But I warn you, it will be quite vague. I don't endeavor to share my problems with others...especially when they include people I care for.
Lately, my other half has been going through a few rough spots in her life. I won't say what, but needless to say she's been emotional of late. For those of you that know her, this isn't exactly all that common. Her attitude is usually very level and cheerful. Now she snaps at me for the strangest of reasons and cries her head off over things that would normally never bother her.
In addition, my family is going through a bit of a monetary crisis. They live paycheck to paycheck and often call on me for aid in some cases. This isn't made easier when I'm still trying to pay off my credit card as well as rent, insurance, the utilities and food.
This can seem overwhelming to some...a cake walk to most...but these things in themselves aren't my problems. I can and have dealt with them. Money isn't an issue for me and Kitty won't be this way forever. No, these simple things aren't enough to drive me to the edge of depression...
...it's a realization I had. Everyone in my life looks to me. I'm the glue that holds it all together. They all look to me to be brave...to be strong. But how can I do that? How can I carry the world on my shoulders? I've never thought of myself as a strong person...matter of fact I've always thought I was rather weak. But they ask me to be strong. Not directly, of course. My father hasn't approached me asking "son, I need you to be strong for everyone". They've done it through action...through thought.
I've always reveled being called an adult. I cherish the responsibility that comes with it and think that I have lived up to it rather nicely. But being asked...nay, TOLD...to carry the world on my back is overstepping things.
Oh, and don't mind the title of this journal. It was just meant to grab your attention. Nice, huh? It must have worked if you got this far. It's strange, really...I talk to you all as if you were here with me. As if you cared about my problems. As if you were my friends. But in times of hardship...one starts to question the word "friendship". Don't take me for an ungrateful fool. I merely wonder how many true friends I still carry on the world-wide-web. I don't visit much...so I don't blame you for choosing otherwise. I guess I just cherish things like friendship in times like this.
I rather appreciate the song I'm listening to at the time. "Love Hurts" by Incubus. give it a listen sometime...tell me if you like it.
-Flantics out











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Bigfoot! Skateboarding isn't you!
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[link] <--- My comic check it out sometime!
How have you been?
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I DUNNO WUT THIS IZ BUT AHM EATIN' IT!!1
If you wanna trade Wii codes for animal Crossing, Mario Kart, brawl, whatever send me a note and we'll work something out, wii will.
Corny jokes are corny.
How have you been?
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I've clocked off early~ Now what to do next...?
Will roleplay for fun!
Logical Requiem: [link]
my freind couldnt upload the pic, so im at my dads house and i made this. i tried to make it the firs time a s arefrence, but our com was runnign weird
so do you think you can make a sprite sheet of this? you know, its for majins new comic.
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I DUNNO WUT THIS IZ BUT AHM EATIN' IT!!1
If you wanna trade Wii codes for animal Crossing, Mario Kart, brawl, whatever send me a note and we'll work something out, wii will.
Corny jokes are corny.
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MY FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME AND I THANK THEM FOR THAT!!!!!! ^^
ok, so bout the sprite sheet. do you think you can do it?
if you do dude, im not gonna rush you i would just like the sheet ASAP. i know you have a life, but id like the sheet by the middle of november. if you need more time, just ask.
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I DUNNO WUT THIS IZ BUT AHM EATIN' IT!!1
If you wanna trade Wii codes for animal Crossing, Mario Kart, brawl, whatever send me a note and we'll work something out, wii will.
Corny jokes are corny.
--
I DUNNO WUT THIS IZ BUT AHM EATIN' IT!!1
If you wanna trade Wii codes for animal Crossing, Mario Kart, brawl, whatever send me a note and we'll work something out, wii will.
Corny jokes are corny.
--
[link] <--- My comic check it out sometime!
its for our little buddy ~Majin-Tobias little RPG sprite comic hes making. guess he doesnt dislike me that much rofl. im an alchemist >:3
yes i have been ready FMA *shot lol
basically though lol, if its ok with you id like to use the sheet you make for majins comic. you dont have to if you dont want to, but yah. id like it to be basic though. id like him to look like my oc [link]
but as a black wolf furry though lol. if you want, sonic sprites, (and some shadow if yuo want) would rule. and a sword slung on his back :3
but take your time. if you need to get rid of some stuff, go for it. but at least keep his divers hat XD thats what makes me me lol. if you need more info, just send me a note if you need to.
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I DUNNO WUT THIS IZ BUT AHM EATIN' IT!!1
If you wanna trade Wii codes for animal Crossing, Mario Kart, brawl, whatever send me a note and we'll work something out, wii will.
Corny jokes are corny.
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